How many times have you had the feeling that you should fix something but you haven’t taken enough initiative? How many times have you thought you have to change things in your life but instead you put those thoughts to the back of your mind and continue as usual?
I’m no strangers to delaying change either, it has happened to me more often than I’d like to admit. We’re all guilty of not facing difficult decisions sometimes. It’s easier to push things under the carpet than to deal with them immediately. Or so it might seem.
The longer we put things off the greater disaster is awaiting us later.
It’s rather silly but most of us learn our lessons by waiting for the disaster than by taking action proactively. We happily dig ourselves deeper into the dirt and close our eyes. And sometimes we see people burying themselves so deep that it’s almost impossible to get back out to the light, ever. It’s both sad and unnecessary.
All areas of our life are vulnerable to lack of attention. The universe is naturally inclined to collapse rather than fixing itself. If we don’t keep cutting back the weeds every day they will eventually take over. We should be aware of everything around us and keep nurturing, nourishing and tidying up things that are important to us.
I hit a wall at work yesterday. It was a wall that I knew was there all along, but I had consistently decided to ignore it, pretend it doesn’t exist. I looked elsewhere. I painted it white so I couldn’t see it. Yesterday I could no longer ignore its presence. I hit it, and I hit it hard.
I always hold myself responsible for everything that happens in my life.
I don’t believe in blaming others no matter how attractive it might seem. If you trace the thread of events down long enough you will find out you could have influenced the outcome, you could have changed something before you found yourself in a midst of a disaster.
It’s best to pick up the pieces before it is too late. It’s best to take a proactive approach and start weeding before your garden is completely overgrown, before you hit that wall!
It’s time for a reality check!
From time to time it’s good to go through all areas your life and decide you are going to take an active role, step into the driver’s seat. Here’s how:
Am I happy?
Do I allow myself to experience moments of happiness, fulfilment and joy every day? If not, why not? What can I change?
We don’t have to be happy all the time and that’s not realistic but why not inject at least a little bit happiness into every day? We stay healthier and are generally more pleasant to be around when we feel fulfilled and content with our lives.
Can I endure more of these moments when I feel anxious and angry? Why should I? Is something out of tune in my life?
We all feel anxiety and disappointment at times but it’s good to ask yourself if you are constantly making decisions out of fear rather than opportunity. If you need to change something what is stopping you?
Do I spend my waking hours with the people I love?
Do I surround myself with people who support me and cheer me on to reach my potential?
Am I fully present in my relationships?
Am I being energised or depleted by the people in I surround myself with?
It’s easy to sleep walk through life and too many people do it with their relationships. We keep dragging along friendships that were dead years ago out of guilt of letting go. Or we keep pleasing everyone around out of fear of not being loved if we show our true desires.
Do I listen to my body and give it what it needs?
Do I get enough sleep, exercise and healthy food?
Am I trying to cover up the wall I’m about to hit by consuming too much sugar or alcohol?
When we ignore our deepest internal desires (our goals and our dreams!) it often translates into avoiding to face the needs of our physical body and well being. We become too busy and never sleep, or cover up our fear of change by overeating. Our body is a great compass, it always knows and has information beyond our conscious mind. Are you listening to what your body tells you about the change you need to make before it’s too late?
Am I doing what I want to do?
Do I know what I want?
Am I showing up fully or waiting for opportunities to come my way?
Most people live their lives reactively waiting for opportunities to appear not knowing what they actually want for themselves. It’s easy to drift through life reacting to things other people ask you to do, never knowing your true heart’s calling. Yet the feeling for change is there, arising from your subconscious. It’s like your inner soul is looking at your outer self running around frustrated, hoping one day you pay attention to her little voice. Will you?
5) Giving back
Have I engaged in activities that would make a difference outside of myself?
Have I been moved by adding meaning to someone’s life who has less than I have?
Do I experience deep feelings of connection through giving back?
One of the founding principles of DrivenWoman is that we help each other to fulfil our aspirations. When you lift someone else up and cheer for them you get an instant reward through a feeling of a deep connection. And this support is often tiny acts of kindness, paying attention to the worries of others, being there to listen and commenting and supporting them not to give up when the journey gets hard. It’s so much easier to do than we think. And anyone who tries to make their goals happen alone is missing the point of the entire journey, we are here to enjoy it together!
Have you hit a wall lately? Are you hiding your inner wishes and dreams from yourself? Are you feeling the change but afraid to put ideas into action?
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