After giving birth to my twin boys nine years ago I started re-evaluating how I wanted to live. I had never considered myself a ‘mother type’ and even after having kids I knew I wanted more. Up until then I had completely defined my identity via my work. Soon I chose to wind down my rather successful career in branding and as a result I was struggling with years of ‘non-identity’ and anxiety about what my purpose in life would be. It was painful but in the hindsight the only way forward as I allowed myself to explore new ideas.
I remember spending all my waking moments (if I wasn’t caring for the twins) researching for people who were doing exciting things who I admired. I had a blank piece of paper in front of me and that was terrifying. I wanted to find out what would be the work I love and what I would do next but I was looking for the ‘right answer’ and I was struggling. I was amazed how some people could embark on a book writing project, for instance, without any idea of the outcome and if their book would become a success.
I thought investing a year or two into something unknown was super risky. What if it would fail?
On the other hand I noticed that all successful people stated that the only way forward was to trust the journey and that ‘luck’ would only show up if you’d let go of expectations and go ‘all in’ without attachment to the outcome. This would turn your life into an ever unfolding adventure.
Will you live in a controlling or trusting way?
When the idea about DrivenWoman landed I remember thinking that I now had two choices. I could either keep living my life the way I had up until then. Working super hard and getting results, feeling I was the master of my destiny. Or I could start trusting the unknown, the larger forces of the Universe, and let go of my need to try to control every situation and encounter.
I chose to let Universe’s natural organizing power help me on my journey. I remember thinking to myself… Well, I’ve tried the other way and it’s pretty exhausting. Perhaps I’m a small part of a bigger plan and all I have to do is to listen and take inspired action, one step at the time. I wondered what would happen if I started trusting my journey rather than trying to control it and have all the answers before I start.
“Do you want to be a prisoner of the past of a pioneer of the future?” Deepak Chopra
A tree doesn’t struggle to grow. A bird doesn’t struggle to fly. A fish doesn’t struggle to swim. You keep hearing this but what does it have to do with finding purpose and living an authentic life?
It has everything to do with it!
Every cell of a tree or a bird or a fish knows what it needs to do next. The same way every cell of every human knows what it needs to do and carries the purpose of the individual’s path within. The message is always there. It may be clouded by self doubt created by past experiences or inherited patterns, but it’s always there.
Do you choose to trust your inner drive?
Are you ready to start trusting that inner guidance? Are you ready to let go of living the controlling way and start taking steps without completely knowing what the end outcome will be?
In the past five years I’ve met over 1,000 women and heard their stories about wanting to live more authentically and to define success in a way that resonates from within. I have learned how so many women (regardless of their previous career success, profession or life situation) struggle with internal confusion, overwhelm, even anxiety.
And I hear the following sentence over and over again:
“My idea of being a writer/ doctor/ artist/ business owner… it’s so ridiculous. Yes, ridiculous, that’s the only way to describe it!”
Women dismiss their inner calling because they can’t figure out the end outcome — right now.
They lack trust in their own journey. But it is no surprise, we have been conditioned in a society where success appears to be linear. How are you going to get from A to B? We women struggle to validate our thinking in this masculine landscape.
For me DrivenWoman has been a journey to higher awareness. I opened a new door, very reluctantly at the start (I must admit), and I started to trust my path. With every step I have become better at listening to my inner drive and I can now see how Universe is working with me when I listen. I have also noticed that as soon as I revert back to my old ways, when I start ‘pushing through’ I can momentarily lose my way. But luckily every time I hit the wall (and yes, this happens all the time!) I realise it’s simply Universe’s way to remind me that I wasn’t listening. And more importantly, I was pushing through agendas rather than gently allowing the next steps to emerge.
DrivenWoman members are experiencing this opening and what happens when you allow yourself to connect, stop ridiculing your own ideas and start trusting your path.
“When we connect and feel our heart/soul, we do know who we are and what we are capable of. If we protect ourselves too much, we also cut off the chance of feeling love, joy and aliveness and feeling the strength and inner beauty of our feminine essence.” says Victoria von Stein who found the courage to transition from a graphic designer to creating her own fine jewellery brand.
“Everyone was sharing their ideas very openly so I decided to share mine and to my surprise I was supported and encouraged, not dismissed. Until now, nobody had taken my idea seriously because it was so BIG.” recalls Tiia Sammallahti who went on to build WhatCharity.com.
Francesca first thought moving from a managerial role in marketing to interior design was tough, and her ideas about combining design and spacial experience ‘ridiculous’. But she decided to start trusting her journey and now celebrated her first art show in June as the founder of Immuto, a collective of artists creating transformational spaces and stories that explore human connections.
What might happen if you’d allow yourself to listen to your ‘ridiculous’ dream? Would you let yourself explore outside the logic of linear thinking? Can you start trusting your journey in its entirety?
After all, all you need to know is only the first step.