Did you ever take a moment to stop and think what you really want out of life? How do you want to live and feel everyday? It’s easy to run though life thinking all is sort of fine, as most things usually are. But unless we take a pause and are ready to raise our awareness of the things we want in life and the life we want to create, we are never actually writing our own story.

We women often live reactively rather than choose a manifestive lifestyle where you actively make choices based on your own roadmap. But there is a simple tool that will help you create the life you really want.

Life is made up of millions of tiny daily decisions.

It sounds simple, but if you look at your life and skim over your calendar appointments, the way you spend your time IS your life. Everyday small decisions make up who you’ll become.

The problem is we don’t make calendar appointments with ourselves. Apart from work meetings, a hair cut and the occasional manicure – what else do you have in your planner that indicates you are putting in the things that really matter to you?

Women are experiencing a shift and it makes us uncomfortable

We meet thousands of women all the time in our events, and it’s clear women no longer are happy with the status quo. The choice between family and career no longer satisfies us. We want more but are unsure what it is.

It’s time to start actively planning for your ‘bigger life‘!

Here’s how I got started.

My big ‘aha’ moment came when many years ago I had just got divorced from my first husband and decided that next time round it’d be better. I was building a wildly successful design business and I guess my hubby got fed up with me as I wasn’t playing the ‘perfect wife’ anymore. I have no regrets letting our marriage break down. He was right. Building my business was more important for me than our marriage.

And here’s the trick. I didn’t want to put my marriage first, or my business.

I wanted a great relationship AND a flourishing career!

After my divorce I decided to live intentionally with greater awareness. I created a tool called ‘My Life Matrix’ and started using it to make my ‘bigger life’ happen. I wanted to design my life, not just randomly arrive to a destination that wasn’t my own. I wanted to live fully and leave out nothing.

‘My Life Matrix’ is now one of the three Foundation Exercises at DrivenWoman. This tool has been used by over a thousand women globally and it works! And the most satisfying part is that I get the most amazing feedback emails from women all over the world.

“I came to your meeting a year ago and it changed my life. Just by writing down what I wanted had a profound effect on me and how my life has turned out since.” Sarah

We’ve now helped thousands of women design their ‘bigger life’, increase their awareness of what they actually want and guided them to take the first steps to make it happen. As you probably know, taking immediate action is the key to success!

So this is how it works.

Write down what is really important for you?

First, write down ‘Four Key Areas’ in your life. Many life planning tools give you pre-determined boxes to fill in, but we believe when you create your own, you are more present with your choices and as a result more committed.

“There is an art to living, to creating your life on your terms based on your desires, talents, values, and dreams. We’re rarely taught to look within and name what it is we want from life.” 

The power of writing down what you want by Tiny Buddha

What kind of things do you want to invite into your life?

What lights you up? What do you want to create? How do you want to spend your time?

Family? Health? Career success? Ambition? Wealth? Helping others? Travel? Creativity?

Re-define your ‘bigger life’ regularly or you are working from an old script.

This is not about the things you think you should have, but rather your own definition of success, right now. Don’t forget, life is a constant flow and we need to re-define our success regularly or otherwise we are working from an old script.

Go ahead, write these things down.

Yes, thinking something in your head doesn’t make them real.

Research shows that writing down your goals makes you much more likely to achieve them. There’s some magic that happens when we purposefully write down what we want. It brings ideas and emotions into our consciousness which will then start directing our actions. When you become aware of what you want, you can start aligning those small daily decisions and actions and begin to create the life you want.

“I didn’t even look at what I had written down in my sheet and it’s amazing how many of these things have actually happened after completing My Life Matrix.” Maryam

My ‘Four Key Areas’ in life are:

1) my (second) husband (he’s got his own Key Area),

2) my ‘nest’ (this includes my kids, my family, home, everyday beauty in my surroundings and how I live, how I love where I am),

3) impact (what kind of impact my work has on the universe and the impact it has on me and my wealth),

4) balance (everything else I love in life: friends, mediation, riding my horse, going to art shows, a glass of wine…).

“I had only made plans and goals for my business. Using My Life Matrix made me realise that if I don’t take care of my health and my family, also my business will suffer. I love that it looks at the bigger picture!” Heidi

The purpose of the ‘Four Key Life Areas’ is to focus on them and start taking action. Your steps should go straight into your calendar to make them happen. Get conscious on the things you want and allocate time and resources to do those things.

It’s one thing to say something is important. It’s another thing to take the steps.

So you say your relationship is important to you. But is it? Are you taking the actions that are required? Are you engaging in the hard conversations that are inevitable?

Try to remain fully present with your answers and think them through. Then answer the following questions and write down couple of bullet points for each of your ‘Four Key Life Areas’ :

How do you want to live?

How do you want to feel in that area?

What do you want to experience, have or create?

We tend to go through life never actually stopping to think what is important to us. You can’t do everything that’s thrown your way and expect great results. It’s time to say what is important and then start putting actions behind them to create the life you want.

It’s time to become your own best teacher.

I’ve changed my health, my body image, I’ve reduced stress, changed my networks, updated my diet, my social life, and my work and business using this simple tool. You can do it too!

For 15 years I have updated the Four Key Life Areas regularly. The Key Areas have remained pretty constant, but the ‘how’ and ‘what’ has evolved. And that’s the beauty of it. Whatever you write down today is perfect. Life is never the same and we all keep growing even if we don’t notice it.

~ Miisa Mink, founder of DrivenWoman