It was my birthday last week. I started my 50^th year! Oh yes, 49 years have rolled upon me and I’ve hardly noticed. My first reaction was “Oh my goodness, how the hell did I get there so quickly!” Then I felt the panic. I am getting old. I started to over-analyse myself. My body type is changing. That strong physical structure appears softer and harder to maintain. The greys are appearing fast and furious, and the odd facial hair has now made itself known. I sink into panic… What shall I do!

Then my resistance side kicked in “Wait one second Jennifer” I tell myself, “stop and think, look at all the years of experience and knowledge, and the achievements and failures you have gathered along the way. That is a wealth of information, a blue print of YOU. What are you going to do with it?”

I appreciate that 49 years old is significant to me, and to anyone who eventually hits that number. But rather than panicking or feeling sorry about the things I really can’t change, I’m going to enter my 50^th year planning for the life I want from now on. The way to do that is to re-do My Life Matrix, the tool we use at DrivenWoman to define the life we want as a whole.

And as you know, when you share your goals and dreams with others it makes you accountable to them and gives the universe a chance to help you. Therefore I will share my plan with you and let you be my coach. I invite you to comment my plan and to share any information that might be helpful to me in my journey.

My Life Matrix written on 16.4.2014 (my birthday)

First box: My children

I want to create an environment that will make them become more independent. They are 13 and 9 years old this year and big enough to do more chores. The fetching and carrying all the time has to stop. I’ve taken over-servicing my children as a sign of love, but there are other ways to love them and it also takes away their opportunity to learn to be more independent, which eventually they will have to do. I can’t carry them forever.

I also need a better support team. One babysitter is not enough, I need five to have a bullet proof system as relying on one person only is merely an excuse not to do things when she can’t show up. This will help me stick to my schedule, and unless the house is burning down I should be able to stick to all my appointments and reach my personal development goals.

Second box: My Career

I have achieved a lot over the years, 2 Olympic Games, Gladiators TV show, Gladiator movie, running a Sport management company, and now I’m going to set the world on fire with DrivenWoman women’s proactive network.

I’m going to list all the opportunities I would like to experience from now on, and I will go for them even if I get a slap on my face and get rejected. I’m not afraid of failure. I will simply cross off failed attempts from my list and move on to the next, as my list is endless. There is so much in life to experience, to learn and to achieve. My list includes phone calls and meetings with individuals way above my calling. But I’m not afraid. It’s important I recreate my talents for my own personal growth. I need new influences and thus I’m going to surround myself with people I can truly learn from.

Third box: Relationship

This one is tricky. I have been single for over 8 years now with the odd short fling along the way. I have always been very protective over my girls, but now I am ready to settle down and allow myself to become a woman again. I want to appreciate my needs and to be confident that I can get the right Husband. Yes, I have written a husband, not a partner, as I have never been married so I am going to name it and claim it.

Fourth box: ME

This should really be my number one box when I think about it…

I may have been blessed with good genes but just rushing through the door without a double take is clearly over. Whether I like it or not a little more TLC is needed! I want to be well groomed and I will invest the time and effort needed. I toyed with the idea of going grey naturally, hmmmm that’s not going to happen for now!

I’m going to invest more time on Miss Stoute, including: beauty, nutrition, workout and dressing up. I’m going to come out and really be seen and counted for in social events.

To do all this I’m valuing my time and taking my own medicine from DrivenWoman time management tips. I will simply be crushing those Time Robbers!!

Because I know my self-worth. And I’m so worth it.

I want to open the door and step in, bold and tall; rather than go kicking and screaming with resistance, disappearing into the sidelines feeling sad for myself for getting old or for the choices I’ve made.

I am so thankful for everything I have required so far and I want to show the universe that I am thankful and that she has taught me well. I’m expecting more from the universe too, but I’m also ready to give back so much more and help others.

I’m getting ready for my big 50 next year. And when the day comes I’ll be ready to welcome my next 50 years with open arms.

~ Jennifer

Ps. Please comment and share your thoughts on this. It would mean a lot to me. I’ll take your feedback as the best birthday present you can ever give me.