Nobody else can tell you what makes you happy or what makes you feel at peace with yourself. Nobody else knows what makes your heart sing, but we live in a society that is dominantly based on masculine values.
These tend to be linear, hierarchical and structured and we all have this aspect of masculine inside of us. Our masculine is helpful when we need to get stuff done and get organised. In order for society to function well there are laws and standards to adhere to and so on, but the masculine lens has also influenced how we see success.
Some women feel confused and stuck because they are still trying to fit into the measure of success defined by a dominantly masculine culture. There’s nothing wrong having money as one of your indicators for success, but for most of us it can leave us wanting more or feeling unsatisfied. At DrivenWoman we believe that our definition of success and how we measure ourselves can be different.
The linear, hierarchical culture has tricked us into thinking that someone else knows what is good for me. We have collectively given our power to gurus and people we think are smarter than us. We are unsure to voice our concerns and follow our own guidance.
But we can adopt our own barometer of success.
Here are some ideas. Assess each area and think what resonates with you. These are just suggestions, don’t be afraid to come up with your own measures – and think, what should happen for you to feel like a success? What is the most important measure for you right now?
- Be debt free
- Pay myself /get paid twice as much as I do now
- Financial independence
- Be able to purchase my dream home
- Create a side income that pays for the school fees
- Find a position that best matches my values and ambition
- Be able to contribute to the success of the company and all its stakeholders by becoming a board director
- Know that I contribute to the success of the company and get paid what I’m worth/get a pay rise of x%
- Feeling energetic five mornings out of seven
- A pain free body
- Spend 80% of my time with people that nurture and inspire me
- Get up five times a week early to do yoga and mediation
- Share 50/50 time with family and work
- Travel to somewhere warm once a year
- Spend one day a week doing creative projects
- Have time to put flowers in a vase at least once a week
- Go to bed every night knowing I approached the day with integrity
- Check in on my progress each week on Friday and celebrate my progress
- Build an audience of 10,000 followers on Instagram who care about my message
- Say ‘yes’ once a month to things that scare me
- Become visible in my work and seek regular speaking engagements
- Share my values openly and not be shy to put my ideas forward
How does this change your measure of personal success?
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