Giving yourself a permission to follow your dreams is the most difficult and the most simple thing you can do. Many people spend a lifetime searching for meaning and purpose when, in fact, our desires and dreams are closer than we actually want to admit. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to living a ‘bigger life’ and manifesting what we really want.
From an early age we’re taught the rules and regulations of how to be part of the society. We learn to obey the rules of the school we go to, and we absorb the values and habits of our family as truths. Most of us grow up in an environment where you are not encouraged to challenge and question the status quo, but expected to just quietly follow. And if you do, you’re labelled as a trouble maker, a problem child and swiftly sent to the Head Master’s office for punishment.
It is no wonder then that as adults we struggle to do what our heart calls us to do. We feel constantly guilty if we put our own needs and desires first. To put it simply, we don’t what to know what we know. We look away rather than give ourselves a permission to explore life and what makes us excited about it.
Organised groups of humans (corporations, organisations, religion etc.) are formed for the benefit of the structure, not the individual. In order to belong, you are expected to follow the rules and conform. But this may stop you from living a manifestive lifestyle.
We humans want to belong.
When I interviewed women who had left large corporations after a long career they said that leaving the corporate structure felt like the company had betrayed them, even when they themselves had made the decision to leave. “I felt exiled, and went into a long period of mourning.” said one woman.
Elizabeth Gilbert talks about giving yourself a permission so you can start to see your life more clearly, and start knowing what you already know. We have all the knowledge we need to understand our won lives but we keep putting other people’s expectations ahead of our own.
To get over our need for constant validation and approval from an external source she talks about writing The Ultimate Permission Slip from our inner Head Master to ourselves. You may also call her the Inner Critic or The Controller. It’s the part of you that keeps judging your choices to keep you “safe” and thus stops you from fulfilling your inner potential and living your dreams.
It’s the inner voice that says you’re no good and that you indeed need external validation and approval. It’s the voice that says: “Who do you think you are?” when a ground breaking idea or a creative thought pops into your head. Why do you think you could pull this off?
Let’s practise giving yourself a permission to…
So let’s take a pen and paper. Write your own permission slip to yourself. Here are some permissions slips DrivenWoman members have written previously.
A Permission Slip From The Ultimate Authority. I give you a permission to…
- slow down and take a 5 day holiday
- take no meetings on Fridays
- not clean up the house everyday
- start writing a book, just for fun even if it never gets published
- apply for five job adverts even if I wouldn’t even want to change jobs
- buy a new dress to feel fabulous in
- throw out absolutely everything that doesn’t serve you anymore
- publish my first blog post (which I’ve been writing for several months) even though it feels scary
- sell that piano because you don’t really like playing but have been doing it because your parents made you do it
- put yourself first
It’s important you give yourself a permission to do the things you want to do – right now. They can be small things or big things. They can relate to your career or to your everyday life. These are things that will help you connect to your flow and make your life your own.
What will your ultimate permission slip say?
Now, with that permission slip boldly in your hand you can start living the life you already knew you wanted.
Start knowing what you already know.
We all know deep down what we want. It’s much easier to say that we don’t know because not trying feels somehow safer. But then one day turns into a week, a week into a year and suddenly you have let your life pass you by never exploring what you are made of!
That would be a shame. We all owe it to ourselves to find out what gems we are hiding inside, what talents still lay dormant.
So give yourself the permission to know what you are already know.