Four Steps To Saying ‘No’ To Negativity

Categories Personal growth

Does it sometimes feel like people around you are trying to steal your time, attention and energy with negativity? You have dreams and goals to chase but somehow end up catering for other people’s agenda’s that aren’t even always that constructive. Perhaps you have encountered people who try to put you down in order to raise their own agenda. It happens to everybody, men and women, but often it seems that women are less likely to protect their personal boundaries or walk away.

It takes a conscious effort to clean life out of any negativity. Sure, there is always a random bad breath or sour people, but it is possible to live without negativity that would steal your time or have an affect on a daily basis. If you are serious about living a positive and abundant life there’s no space for negative people. It means learning to say ‘no’ and remembering to stick to that principle when your values get tested. 

Whether private  or business, there is no need to deal with constantly negative people long term. There are enough people on this planet who can create opportunities through positive thinking. You are the one who defines the rules you are going to live by.

Now here’s a quick guide for getting rid of (or minimising the effect of) the negativity in your life.

1. Identify

Who are individuals that make you feel low? Are you constantly in an environment where negativity is the rule, not an exception? Some work cultures are toxic and we can’t change that. Sheryl Sandberg asked women to ‘lean in’ and sometimes we think that if we just lean in harder it will all work out. But in most cases you can’t change your environment and corporate cultures where not designed for women, though many are changing.

2. Accept

You have to accept that you will never win the argument with people who are driven by greed, jealousy and negativity. Their self-worth will always depend on putting everyone else down and you can’t change that. Ever. It’s time to stop wasting your time and energy. 

3. Define your own outcome

It is likely that we all have to deal with negativity at times. If there are people in your life who run on bad fuel try to understand what they want from you and what you want from them. It is good to limit the amount of energy and time you let them suck out of you to a minimum and be clear what is the outcome you want from the situations. Sometimes there are ‘horses for courses’, and you may have to stay in a job to finance your next move, but be clear why you are doing it and when you are going to get out.

4. Walk out

Next time you find yourself in the same negative situation try to keep your head calm and your life priorities clear. How do you want to feel everyday? How do you want to live your life? People running on negative fuel are not going to support you. Remember, it’s ok to want a bigger life. If your brilliance is not appreciated it’s time to vote with your feet and take your brilliance else where. Ask yourself, can you win this game? If the answer is ‘no’, it’s time to make a plan how to get out.

If you can’t walk out today, make a plan. It doesn’t matter how long term your plan is, 6 months or 3 years, over time we can all change our circumstances if we want.

We all have experienced different levels of negativity in our lives. At DrivenWoman we don’t stay a victim to the circumstances but seek to find solutions how we can start carving a better slice for ourselves. We all deserve a better life, an authentic life where we can integrate all aspects of happiness and what matters to us. There are environments which are supportive of women and the feminine values. It’s time we start believing in better outcomes and taking active steps to live a bigger life!

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Sunday, April 7th, 2019

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